Nursing Diagnosis

Top 10 Nanda Nursing Diagnoses for nursing students….
For those of you who don't know r/t stands for "related to"

10. Fluid volume deficit r/t dehydrating effects of caffeine
associated with increased student sightings at coffee bars and McDonalds.

9. Impaired social interactions r/t inappropriate topics of
conversation associated with incessant discussions of bowel and
bladder functions.

8. Sexual dysfunction r/t time constraints and stress-induced
impotence associated with increased irritability of nursing students
and their significant others.

7. Functional constipation r/t lack of time to go to the bathroom
associated with moving at the speed of light and still not getting
everything done.

6. Impaired skin integrity r/t increased intake of fat, chocolate, and
alcohol associated with return to adolescent facial breakouts.

5. Anticipatory grieving r/t impending midterms and final exams
associated with crying fits in October, December, March, and May.

4. Maturational enuresis r/t trauma-induced regression to childhood
associated with frequent changing of linens.

3. Ineffective individual coping: obsessive compulsive behaviors r/t
high demand of nursing school associated with continual checking and
rechecking of calendars, date books, course syllabi, and other nursing
students to reassure that one is not forgetting assignments.

2. Altered thought processes: caffeine-induced psychosis r/t increased
coffee and pop consumption.

1. Self-care deficit r/t being a nursing student.

Is it bad to self diagnose? I am guilty of so many of these. They made me laugh! I have read so many nursing diagnosis in the last 4 months...none as funny as these:-)

Nintendo DS and Cooking...

Drake: Mom, can I bake a cake?
Me: No, not today. I don't have any frosting.
Drake: We can just have it without frosting.
Me: No, I just don't want to deal with the mess. Let's do it another day.
Drake: ugh! I have nothing else to do. My DS isn't working (because he lost the charger) and the only other FUN thing to do is COOK!
Me: BAAAHHHHAAAHHAHAA!!!! COOK? Seriously? COOK? BAAAHHAHAHA!!
Drake: (Laughing too) What?
Me: Nice try with the whole guilt trip, but NO!

I just love my kids! They are always good for a laugh!